In an excerpt from Leah Messer’s new memoir: Hope, Grace & Faith, Leah reveals for the first time that she aborted her baby because she was conflicted over her relationship with Corey Simms.
This happened when Leah and Corey split up and she quickly began dating Jeremy Calvert. She and Corey were back and forth on trying to decide if they should work out their relationship for the sake of their two daughters.
“I was devastated. Having a baby with Jeremy would be the end of any chance Corey and I had of making things work for our family. I was sad for myself, but mostly I was sad for our girls. I knew I had f**ked up, and I felt like I had ruined their lives on top of mine.”
Leah’s mother and rep at the time came up with a plan to make it look like Leah was “having a miscarriage.”
Leah took pills from a clinic, and started having heavy bleeding and cramping. Leah’s mother then called Jeremy and told him she was having a miscarriage.
“When she told him I was having a miscarriage the way she played the role of concerned mother was so damn convincing even I couldn’t tell she was lying.
I remember listening to her talking to Jeremy on the phone and wondering how the hell I had let this happen.”
“I can look back now without regret, but for the longest time, I wasn’t okay with the choice I had made. It felt so dark because it was hidden.
It wasn’t until I was finally able to bring myself to tell Jeremy what had really happened that I started to realize that as long as I was living with the lie it would keep eating away at me. I carried the pain and the guilt around with me for years, until I finally got to the point where I could hold myself accountable for my choices without punishing myself for them.”